What Men and Women Want, Part I, Version II

There is a stark contrast between what each of the sexes
thinks the opposite sex wants from them, and what the
opposite sex really does want.

What women think men want from them causes women to
have resentments and anger towards men, and feel hopeless
about ever developing a wonderful, warm romantic partnership.
What men think women want from them causes them much of
the same feelings, and will be covered in our next newsletter.

The sad part is that it does not have to be this way, if only we
realize that both men and women are human beings first and
pretty much want the same thing. You don't have to take my
word for this.

Below are the answers of six men to the question "What do
you want from a woman in order to build a great relationship?"
contrasted with what women think men want on the same
topic. Below are also tips for women how to give men what
they want, attract a great man and create a wonderful
relationship.

Bare in mind all six men are actively involved in personal growth
and development.

Top Six Things Men Want From Women
in Order to Build a Satisfying Relationship
--------------------------------------------------------------------

1. Men want honest, timely, loving communication

All of the men in my survey said honest communication was top
priority. They said they want a woman who answers questions
honestly instead of with silence. They also said they want a woman
who confidently asks for her wants and needs to be met. They want
a woman who can see the truth, and tell it like it is while communi-
cating with kindness. Finally, men want a woman who can commu-
nicate without being too critical, who cares about preserving his
and her dignity.

What women think men want
------------------------------------------
Women think men want them to be superficial, to never bring
up needs or wants, to never ask for anything. Women think
men believe them to be too needy and to sensitive, and that
men simply want women to get over it. Some women believe
they do not have the permission to tell it like it is, that they
will be rejected for speaking up.

Tip for women:
--------------------
Great men want and need straightforward, courageous
communication without anger or criticism. Therefore, one
way to attract a great man and build a satisfying relationship
is to learn how to communicate effectively.

2. Self-sufficiency, security, confidence

Men said they want a woman to choose them rather than
need them, either materially or emotionally. They said they
want their partner to have a separate identity, to support his
goals without being threatened because she has goals as
well. Men said they want a woman to be active and indepen-
dent, and to have her own friends and interests.

What women think men want
------------------------------------------
Women think men want them to not need them. Women
think that men do not need or appreciate time spent together
as a couple. Women believe that showing a man he is needed
will turn him off and possibly make him run away.

Tip for women:
--------------------
Men want what women want - a whole partner. One powerful
way to attract a great man and to build a vibrant relationship is
to create a full, rewarding life for your own fulfillment now.

3. Lack of manipulation

Men said they want no manipulation of any kind. They do not
want to read their partner's mind or try to interpret signals. They
do not want to be forced to move faster in a relationship than
they are ready. They do not want to be manipulated into taking
all the blame for things gone wrong. They do not want to be on
the receiving end of game playing.

What women think men want
------------------------------------------
Women think men want no communication, and the only way
to get needs met is through manipulation. Women think men
either need or want to be reminded the relationship needs to
move forward. Women think men don't want or value praise
and acknowledgement, and so tend to only verbalize criticism.

Tip for women:
--------------------
Men will not tolerate manipulation of any kind. To attract a
great man and to build a wonderful relationship, learn to ask
without hesitation for what you want and need in every area
of your life. Learn to be aware of his timing and his timeline.
Learn how to acknowledge and bestow praise.

4. Growth, personal responsibility, ownership

Men said they want a partner who can laugh at herself, and
who has the ability to build courage and strength in her partner
which means she must have the ability to do the same for
herself. They also said they want a woman who can see her
part in relationship dynamics and own it. She has to be stable
emotionally. Men want a woman who is developing herself
personally, and who takes responsibility for her emotional
experience.

What women think men want
------------------------------------------
Women think men only want to have a good time. Women
think men have no interest in developing and growing a
relationship or developing and growing themselves. Women
think men want women who are super models, but never
consider if a woman is emotionally mature, kind, supportive,
loving.

Tip for women:
--------------------
Men want women who are emotionally mature. Maturity
does not mean lack of emotions. It does mean the ability to
handle emotions responsibly. To attract a great man and
to build a long-term relationship, learn to take responsibility
for your emotional expression and experience.

5. Fidelity and a commitment to the relationship

Across the board, men said fidelity is an absolute must. In fact,
most went even further to say they want a woman who does not
have a "roaming eye" and who can wholeheartedly commit to the
relationship. They went on to define commitment as fidelity plus
the willingness to work on the relationship even when the going
gets tough. They said such commitment is critical to create a
great relationship.

What women think men want
------------------------------------------
Women think that all men want is sex and will leave a
relationship for the next prettier face. Women think men cannot
be trusted to be faithful. Women believe men do not want to work
on a relationship, that when the going gets tough, they run.

Tip for women:
--------------------
Here is great news for those women who have resigned to
the myth that all men cheat: infidelity and "a roaming eye" are as
distasteful to men as they are to women. Great men know how to
build a wonderful relationship, and know that fidelity is the main
ingredient.

6. Knowledge of men and how they need to be treated

Only two men said this outright, but most implied it. It seems
women tend to treat men in a way that diminishes their ego,
making them feel inadequate. Men said they would rather have
more praise, more acknowledgement of what they do right,
more acknowledgment that they are great guys who are loved
and appreciated.

What women think men want
------------------------------------------
Women think men do not need them, do not value their
opinion, their support, their praise. Women also think men do
not care about many things important to women, which is why
they criticize. Criticism is a way to verbalize resentment.

Tip for women:
--------------------
Most men want acknowledgement and appreciation from
women. Learning to acknowledge instead of making your
partner wrong is one of the most powerful relationship survival
tools available to you.


Your Relationship Coach,
Rinatta Paries

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This article was originally published by Coach Rinatta Paries in
The Relationship Coach Newsletter, a weekly e-zine for people
who want fulfilling relationships. For singles, the newsletter will
help you attract your Mr. or Ms. Right. If you're in a relation-
ship, learn to create much more closeness and intimacy with
your mate. To subscribe, go to http://www.WhatItTakes.com
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